Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Houston, we have a squirter
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Randomize
