FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Randomize
