the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
