it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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