Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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