He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
