i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
