my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
