pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
