I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
