yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
