You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
