lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
