FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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