hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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