My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
