You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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