I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
