so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
