she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
