she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
