Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
