Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
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