you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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