So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
