Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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