There was a lot of him and a little penis
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
