Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize