Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You are the jesus of drinking
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
