I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I wear drunk well.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
