No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
