cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just cropdusted the office
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize