I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
