I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just pee around me
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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