i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You pole danced in your parka.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
