just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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