I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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