I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
