4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet