Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed