I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget