He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
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Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
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Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are