....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
