allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
