D3 body, D1 cock
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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