I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
