It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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