all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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