I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I need moral support for this bender
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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