It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
