yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
