It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The air taste purple.
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