I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
