This is not my ceiling
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Randomize
