she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
