your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Jerry, you need to find god
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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