i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
