How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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