okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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