just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
we're so committed to being not committed
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
