I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
