I must be too annoying 4 u.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
