So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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