i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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