then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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