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My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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