yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
