office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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